I got a call from President Obama after his debate last night when he was on his way to a restaurant with Michelle Obama, celebrating his 20th wedding anniversary.
I was kind of shocked that a President would be reaching out to me based on my blog posts on sales, marketing, and innovation that no one ever reads. So I must admit, I thought for sure that it was a crank call.
As I was about to hang-up, he told me things that only a President would know based on the intelligence that they have access to. It is amazing how much they know about you, like I wore my twin sister’s dress when I was little going to a train station in India. Okay, I was young, stupid and totally confused.
He said, “Don’t worry, I got it off Google.”
I sarcastically replied, “That’s great!”
I asked, “So what is the occasion that has me talking to you, sir?”
He said,”Man, I have couple of minutes, so let me get to it quickly.
You know that guy Mitt Romney. He came so prepared for the debate this evening and made me look like a chump. And I need your help to look like a champ again. Can you give me few tips for my next debate?”
He said, “Like a car. Where did you get that idea?”
I said, “I got it from the convention speech given by former Governor Jennifer Granholm. You are all about going forward from 2012 onwards, and Mitt Romney wants to undo everything you have done to get us out of the mess we were left in by going backwards to where we were the day you took office. Everything you are going to do in your next term, please interject the word ‘forward’ and when you are attacking Mitt Romney, please interject the word ‘backwards’. If you do this, you will smoke him in the debate.”
He said, “ Anything else?”
I said, "Yes, one more thing. Don't explain. That is not the purpose of a presidential debate. In presidential debates, being wrong but acting tough makes you right, but being right but looking weak makes you wrong. This is all you need to know to knockout Mitt Romney. Remember, he is playing rough. He just elbowed you. You can't be shooting high percentage three pointers all game; you gotta to take it to the basket and give him a "facial" with the dunk that he will never forget. This is all you need to do to get your message across and win the game."
I said, “Thanks Mr. President. My wife and I will enjoy spending some time in Hawaii. Looking forward to it and Good Luck!”
After the call, I went to sleep, since no one would believe me if I told them I got a call from the President. So if you are reading this, just keep this between us chickens.
Jay Oza is a founder and principal innovation development consultant at 5ToolGroup, a company that specializes in helping startups and established firms bring innovation to market within 90 days through our unique 5Tool Methodology that integrates sales, marketing, partnerships, customer development and agile/lean methodology to enable frugal or ("Jugaad") innovation. We believe that to succeed today, you have to continuously look for ways todo lot more with lot less. This is the only way to win today.